Why I write

10 Aug, 2024

I’ve many seen people across Bearblog and Substack write pieces on why they write, but I've never found the pieces too intriguing. I now see the incentive after having written a few public posts. If I were to guess, writing those posts was self-serving for the authors; to create their own north star.

Prior to this blog, my writing consisted solely of my daily journal. My intention for journaling was to record the important moments of my life, to reflect on and process my emotions and thoughts, and package it all into a little time capsule for future me.

The desire to create and to create something more public always had some allure to me. When I first decided to commit to a blog, my reasons were clear.

I wanted to hold myself more accountable.

Writing has been one of my two achilles heels since I was six years old. Though I do care enough to moderately edit my person journal entries, there is a higher level of scrutiny (and subsequently refinement) when you’re writing even just for one pair of external eyes. This higher level of refinement hopefully leads to me better understanding my own thoughts and values.

• Many also think that better writing leads to better public speaking (not to quote Jordan Peterson, but he is one such figures), which is my second achilles heel (public speaking, not Jordan Peterson)

I want to show my head in public. When Henrik Karlsson wrote Looking for Alice, I don’t think he intended that to mean baring all your thoughts in a public blog, but I think the sentiment is similar. To attract those that I can foster mutually interesting conversation with, I imagine there’s no easier way than to show my head in public.

As I wrote, however, I realized that I would often lose sight of my original intentions. I wasn’t sure where to draw boundaries. How much vulnerability made sense? What made sense to keep nestled away in my journal versus being shared in public?

I began to question what was authentic to me.

Does it matter that my writing is threaded with prose? Do my entries need to be supported by quotes and references from well curated sources? Am I the kind of person to include poems at the end of my writing? Where does one draw the line between inspiration and mimicry?

I realize that whenever there is any potential for others to perceive me, my chameleon Fe¹ side takes over and leads me to territories increasingly inauthentic to myself.

Clarifying why I write helps me refocus whenever these doubts creep in.

A final point tangential to the topic, is who am I writing to?

The most pervasive and simple take I’ve heard is to act like you’re writing to a curious friend. I want to think about this a bit more, but it’s a view that generally resonates with me.

The spectrum of people in my personal life whom I’ve sent my blog to is a very eclectic mix. A friend who also blogs, my therapist, and my self proclaimed work sister.

Writing with any one person in mind influences my writing too much, so a curious friend it is. And anyways, who knows who actually reads these posts anyways.

All things aside, here are some photos from my life these past few days.

Since last I wrote, I’ve:

1. Kicked off my NYC marathon training
2. Climbed my first V8
3. Went to Miznon for the first time in person! Their whole baby cauliflower is still worth every penny.

Despite having run over the Manhattan and Williamsburg bridges 20+ times over, I’ve only run across the Brooklyn Bridge maybe 3 times?

I coincidentally ran past a friend on a first date along the piers.

A mentioned that food tastes better when she uses the bowl I made. I think the same is true for me and the tea I had tonight out of my derpy penguin pitcher.

Here is a clip of my favorite k-drama of all time: How I would want any unrequited interest to be handled